Jane Austen: Mrs Bennet is a Wonderful Mother

At first glance, Mrs Bennet seems to have nothing whatsoever to recommend her as a mother. Jane Austen, who had a sharp tongue when she’d a mind to, tells us that, ‘She was a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper.’ This harsh judgement is corroborated by Mr Darcy, in his letter to Lizzy, where he doesn’t hesitate to point out  Mrs Bennet’s ‘total want of propriety’. And poor Lizzy herself, ‘blushed and blushed again with shame and vexation’ when her mother showed up her ill-breeding when she came to Netherfield when Jane was ill.

after Cassandra Austen, stipple engraving, published 1870. Courtesy of National Portrait Gallery

However, whilst admitting that Mrs Bennet’s behaviour could be embarrassing – it certainly gave Darcy and Bingley’s sisters a disgust of her ill-bred manners – nevertheless, Mrs Bennet also gave her daughters some very useful qualities.

For her point of view, ‘The business of her life was to get her daughters married,’ and in this she is  entirely single-minded. Far from being of ‘mean understanding’, Mrs Bennet is absolutely clued up here. Her daughters have got to marry; if they don’t, their financial situation will be perilous indeed. Once Mr Bennet dies, Mr Collins will inherit the house and the property, and what will happen to Mrs Bennet and her daughters, then? Would Mr Collins offer them all a home at Longbourn? I can’t see any of the sisters wanting that. Their only work option is to be a governess; and we know how sketchy their education was. ‘We never had a governess,’ Lizzy tells Lady Catherine. They did, however, have all the teachers they needed, and Elizabeth and Mary, in particular, had piano and singing lessons.

Early 19th century Piano, Kenwood House

So what did Mrs Bennet give her daughters? To answer that, we need to look at why Mr Bennet married her. Jane Austen tells us he was, ‘captured by (her) youth and beauty and that appearance of good-humour which youth and beauty generally give.’ And if Mr Bennet, a well-educated man, could be taken in by youth and beauty, why shouldn’t other equally eligible men fall for her beautiful, good-humoured girls?

Genetically, Mrs Bennet has passed her looks down to four of her daughters. When Mr Bingley first pays a call on Mr Bennet, we learn that, ‘he had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies, of whose beauty he had heard much.’  Beauty is a very useful quality for girls who are not rich and in need of a husband.

19th century ebony fan.

Furthermore, I would argue that Mrs Bennet also handed down to her daughters a sort of sexual self-confidence in their relationships with men. Jane Austen mentions Lydia’s ‘high animal spirits and a sort of natural self-consequence’, that is, sex appeal. When Lydia returns to Longbourn after her shot gun marriage, Jane Austen describes her as: ‘untamed, unabashed, wild, noisy and fearless.’ She has no shame at all in having eloped with Wickham; she knew that they would get married sooner or later – and she is proved right.

Lizzy, too, has inherited the magic ingredient of light-hearted sexual self-confidence. Consider how Darcy reacts to her at Netherfield, early on in the story: ‘There was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman and he was by her.

Regency gentleman

She’s beautiful and she’s sexy; and for that she has Mrs Bennet to thank. Of course, she has other, more solid qualities, too, but it is these very basic ones which initially attract Darcy to her. You could do a lot worse than have Mrs Bennet as your mother.

Having said that, I feel sorry for poor Mary, the only plain sister, who has to rely on ‘accomplishments’ and an over-earnest interest in books of high-minded morality. Poor Mary. If only Mr Bennet would take his third daughter in hand and teach her how to think logically and develop a sense of humour to leaven that moral earnestness, but I suspect that he’s too lazy. I fear for Mary’s future.

Lady riding side-saddle

All the same, the fact remains that Jane and Elizabeth Bennet, two girls with very little in the way of a dowry, and a mother whose manners can only be described as detrimental to her daughters’ marriage hopes, both manage to acquire rich and personable husbands against the odds.

When the chips are down, it is beauty and sex appeal which is the trump card in the marriage game. And it probably still is. I rest my case.

Elizabeth Hawksley

Please share this page...


5 thoughts on “Jane Austen: Mrs Bennet is a Wonderful Mother”

  1. Absolutely. She is indeed a silly woman, but she is doing her best by her own lights for her daughters and keeps on doing it right up until the moment they are safely married. And at the very end, JA does say of Mary that due to being forced to go about more with her mother – and having none of her sisters at home to bear comparison with – she does aquire a little more social grace. As soon as she gets a modest home of her own (as a curate’s or doctor’s wife, perhaps) she will be okay. Pretty sure Darcy would stump up some sort of dowry for her.

    1. Yes, I agree with you, Jan. If he and Mr Bingley declined to take the £1000 that will, in due course, come to Elizabeth and Jane, that would leave a bigger pool of money for Mary and Kitty. What could be done about Mrs Bennet, though?

      And, if Mary acquired a few more graces and a bit more sense – she might surprise everyone. This was an age for Noble Causes, remember. Think of men like William Godwin (women’s rights) and William Wilberforce (Anti-Slave Trade.) There were any number or causes Mary might take up and meet a possible husband.

      1. I daresay they will put their heads together and sort out some kind of annuity and small house for Mrs B when the time comes!

  2. Beautifully put. Twenty or so years ago I thought Mr Bennet was perfectly right in his sardonic observations about his silly, wittering wife; but as the years have rolled on I’ve begun to realise that there was much more to her than that. Mr Bennet was fond of his daughters but didn’t put himself out for them, apart from, perhaps, Lizzie. However, despite her silliness Mrs Bennet loved her daughters enough to work out that distinguished, well-heeled men were such a rarity in Meryton that when a new one hove into view, it was essential to try to snaffle him for one of her girls; without a husband they would eventually be as good as homeless. It’s a pity Mary wasn’t old enough for Mr Collins – they’d have gone well together.

    1. Yes, I agree with you, Prem. Mrs Bennet was very clear about what was essential for a young lady at that period – a well-to-do husband. If either of Jane or Elizabeth had been exceptionally talented musically, say, things might have been different – there were a number of young female singers and musicians who, helped by their musical families, could make a reasonable living. But that was unusual – and Jane and Elizabeth Bennet are intelligent but not exceptionally so

Comments are closed.